Your horse is a rockstar.
I truly believe that one unique thing I bring to the horses I ride is my belief that they are amazing. I don’t mean this in an irrational way around the goals I set, like thinking that I am going to do a five-star on Anton who maxes out around 3’3” or thinking that I am going to make the Olympic dressage team with an average mover. I am aware of the physical and mental limitations of the horses I ride.
Rather, I mean thinking that your horse is amazing like you think your partner or best friend or daughter or mom is amazing and loving them unconditionally. I really do believe this positions us to have a supportive, kind, and loving relationship with the horses we ride and encourages us to have empathy and understanding for them. Too many people think of their horses as a tool to deliver a performance, or as an animal with ulterior motives or inherent negative personality traits. When we can change our thinking to considering our horses as friends and partners who are worthy of unconditional love, we:
view their mistakes, missteps, or issues with compassion and care - opportunities for learning and growth, versus intentional problems or unchangeable challenges
strive to understand where they’re coming from and who they are, such as a horse having a lot of energy on a windy day or struggling to learn a new exercise
understand that we all have our ups and downs, and view a bad day or ride as a regular part of the cycle
believe the best in our horse and treat them with good care and friendship
This sets us up to enjoy the partnership and have a solid foundation of trust on which to build and fall back on when times are hard. It allows us to steadily and slowly keep progressing and to enjoy the journey along the way, keeping frustration at bay (or at least more at bay). It also lets us see our horses for who they are, rather than being frustrated with who they are not.
My trainer Brad told me the other day that the horses I ride do things that are a bit beyond their athletic scope because of the relationships we’ve developed, and that was one of the biggest compliments I think I’ve ever received.
There are some outward accomplishments I may never attain, or may never attain with certain horses. For me, that’s completely okay. I am learning something every day, having a largely wonderful time while doing it, and ride horses who are happy to see me in the pasture. We have fun together and improve together based on who we are. In competition, we may be better than others on some days and worse on others, but that’s superfluous given what we are doing. Because at the end of the day, it’s about the partnership and the friendship.